Morgan Freeman: It appears I’ve sat in a pie.
Maya Angelou: I suppose you have.
Freeman: I feel no shame sitting in that pastry, just human nature I suppose.
Angelou: Yes.
Freeman: It has been an honor.
I don’t know why, but this is my favorite SNL sketch in a long time.
Lisa Hanawalt’s illustrated recap of The Vow for Vanity Fair’s website is essential!
Wow, this is just terrific.
Matt Besser: I want to poison one of my enemies. I trust you, my confidants, more than anybody. This death must be untraceable. No one can know it is I.
Horatio Sanz: Well, legally we can’t sell poison at Rite-Aid, but um, I can probably give you some advice on what would kill somebody.
This scene from the Improv4Humans podcast with Horatio Sanz, Matt Besser and Andy Daly is pretty great, You should listen to it
The recent Hank Williams Jr. news reminded me of this great sketch featuring Chris Farley as Hank Williams Jr. on SNL.
For years I’ve had a nighttime fantasy where I’m stranded on an island with an attractive woman. We fill our days with the only activity not requiring a whole lot of equipment and learning. The sex, that is.
I revisited recently, after a long time away from Satisfaction Island. Everything went well, except I felt I had to introduce the situation by first explaining how we ended up on the island, where the others were, and how we got past the initial shock. I had to establish reliable sources of food and water, and explain why the weather is always excellent.
Then I thought about this woman. She would obviously need to give full consent—nay, approach me first—and while I can believe that she would reach out for me the very first night, looking for some comfort, I knew that this would probably make for a rocky long-term relationship.
So I had her wait a few weeks and get to know and like me first.
Then there was the matter of my being married. I couldn’t just jump into this with my wife out there, worrying about me. But I figured we were reasonable people, and eventually she’d move on and I’d realize I would spend the rest of my life on the island. Seeing how this was a fantasy, I allowed about six months for these wounds to heal.
Then there’s the matter of birth control. It was getting late in the fantasy so I just made my island-partner infertile. That made me sad for her, though, so I tweaked it a bit; she had also come from a large family and she had always wanted to go the adoption route. Good, good.
At this point I was starting to feel a little embarrassed about the casual way in which I assumed that our food and shelter were accounted for, so I spent some time justifying how we found ourselves in a worry-free situation. The show Lost was very helpful here.
Between the fruit-gathering and the water-getting, I don’t think I fantasized about any actual sex. Maybe once or twice we tried, but there was sand everywhere, and it just kept getting in the way.
